The Reason why I have difficulties in posting in my Blog

i dont know why but it has started last 5 weeks i think? MY NET PRODUCES 1 to 13 kilobytes per second :”D Great! I cant finish my project 






Reasons why I wanna friends with weird people because I found them amazing and I am with them xD … I felt normal being with boys but when with girls I felt so unease,  it depends on what kind of girl they are…

Weird Girls, Boyish girls, Girls that speak english always – I feel very comfortable with them and I can talk to them freely what I want but no bad things XD ….

Popular girls, Girls that are really girly, and girls that are outgoing with friends always – I found it really unease to talk to them.. I am shy towards them and I cant even think of any topic to talk to them… and I find it really really hard and thinking twice just to correct the sentence in my head to talk to them.. And I think twice if they are gonna like what im gonna say or not….

Girls That are normal – I can talk to them but there is some restrictions its that I kinda still feel a little bit unease and I can’t look directly to them when they are near and I always look away from them 😛

My Self 3 – Personality Test

10514390_664522466957195_2713920108513240312_oBeing weird or being normal it depends on the situation that my blood rise up that I can’t control my actions sometimes and some classmates of mine think of me as being an idiot but im trying to control it they think that I don’t know that they are like insulting me with their facial expression.

I consider myself to have multiple personality. When I’m sooo tired like in sports.. I get pissed off easily and I want to punch someone in the face or even break something. But if something has inspired me to do stupid things, I can do it and I can’t stop it because if I tried to stop it… My heart will just pound alot and my blood is rising like I will die of having a highblood pressure… sooooo no can do…. I cant stop the stupidity 😛

….. If im serious im really serious like I dont wanna joke around and I don’t wanna see other people’s stupidity… There are big difference when im at home and when im at school…. At school I can express alot but at home you will just see me sitting alone… playing the piano and feel the lonely song that I will play.. I play freely I can compose my own song and I can make my own song.. It depends on the feeling.. I play by ear… I took piano class last last last summer but it didn’t do any good … I can’t read notes even though I took the class… So I use my God gifted talent.. it is the talent to play by ear 🙂 ….

At home I blog, I am always active in facebook because of my other friends on the other part of the world… I can express the feelings that I can’t express in school.. Those feelings of the dark and lonely side of me …. I am alone in one big room with the stuff I have…  

The Reason that I can’t study sometimes because I have this feeling that If I study this and it wont come out on the test then my time will be wasted for nothing … I’m really concious about the time and makes me wanna stare at my clock .. If I were to choose which is the best place for me …. I would choose the path of that something that would make me feel amazed in everyday life … like fantasy .. If only powers existed in real life, my life would not been boring..  



Meet Joshua




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